A.A. The Blame Game
My name is Chuck and I am an alcoholic.
There are enough people out there who still haven’t realized the importance of being personally responsible for what they do. Instead, they level guilt against other people and wrongly assume that they are the ones being wronged. But in order for people to grow as individuals it is important that they entertain their own responsibilities. One must learn how to stop blaming other people if they are ever going to progress in life.
Blaming other people means never having to say sorry.
If other people are responsible for the bad things that happen in life, then the individual can avoid feelings of accountability.
Blame involves making a judgment about other people. When blame is apportioned it devalues that other person in the eyes of the individual making this judgment. Those who fall into addiction will frequently blame other people for their predicament. It is only when they take responsibility for their situation that they can be free.
In order for people to become successful they will likely make many mistakes along the way. If people are to become emotional sober they will need to be able to admit to their own mistakes. If their initial urge, when something goes wrong, is to blame other people, this will prevent them from acknowledging the part they played in the event. Of course there will be many things that happen to people where they will not be responsible, but it is not a good idea to always rush to judgment.
From the Big Book:
B.B. Page 61: Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame.
B.B. Page 67: Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?…Where were we to blame?
12X12 Page 84 Step Nine: This will be a very different occasion, and in sharp contrast with those hangover mornings when we alternated between reviling ourselves and blaming the family (and everyone else) for our troubles
B.B. Page 311: A.A. is not a plan of recovery that can be finished and done with. It is a way of life, and the challenge contained in its principles is great enough to keep any human being striving for as long as he lives.
When we start blaming ourselves and not others for our problems we have a chance at recovery.
To Thine Own Self Be True.